Photo by Jose Escobar on Unsplash
When it comes to this topic, I will always say yes. Because love is beautiful no matter what form it comes in. And when someone loves you, you need to take it. There are some stuff that makes me weary of IR like fetishizing, self-hate and desperation.
I wouldn't want someone to get with a non-black person just so their child could be deemed attractive to society's standards. To have their child have "light skin" and "good hair", because that rhetoric will fall to that child and will bring thoughts of superiority over people that look like you. Just keeping that toxic cycle going. If you want to be with someone that is not your race, be with them because of who they are, not because of the physical benefits. That will show your desperation and you won't be appealing to anyone. Only the ones who want to be admired for no reason other than being non-black and to have one-up on your people.
The fetishizing topic. Chileee. I have not ever experienced that nor that I have a fear to talk to non-black men because of it. I had a friend who is only into white men. She never had attraction to black men and that is fine. There was a situation with one guy she was with and he called her to calm her down. This is what he said. "If I ever pictured my version of a perfect girl, it would be you." Sounds sweet right? Just wait. " She would have very, very dark dark skin," Yup " with very very kinky hair" Uhh " with a big nose and big lips" IS THIS YOUR KING?!? Ya'll should've seen my face. Like WHAT!! but she loved it. she thought it was the best thing ever. I couldn't say much after that. It was weird to me how he empathized certain things, like I know I have dark skin, I know how I look so why did you have to say it that way? Just like her, I have interest in non-black men too. But I also have interest in black men as well. I like Spanish, White, Asian guys just as much as I like Black men. But the white men I had interest in never said that to me. They call me pretty, they didn't empashize my features in the way that guy did to that friend. I know some people who told me they might call you certain words behind your back. But I know who I deal with and I know their character. They would not ever do that. I don't lower my standards for one race but heighten it up for another. Everyone gets treated the same.
I know some people who are so desperate to get attention from a non-black man that they will do anything. They know, they are men still. They will use you because you made it easy for them to. I had non-black men approach me, pursue me relentlessly. I never gave them a pedestal to stand on because they are non-black. They had to still apply pressure like the black men had to. This made me respected to them. They wanted me, not the other way around. They wanted me to be someone they could have a relationship with, to love, to protect. It is not like I came to them begging for their love or approval. Some women are used as a pump-and-dump for that reason. Be someone that they can respect. Be yourself. Some women change themselves to attract a non-black man. Why? you can't hide yourself for long. Why would you even want to change yourself to appease someone that may not even look your way? Or even want you only like this, not the real you?
I am for Interracial relationships, when it is real love. Not based on those reasons I stated before. I met dope, amazing people that wasn't in my race. We vibed with each other, cared for each other, fought with each other, etc. I had the best times with these guys. They opened my door, asked me how my day was. If I looked sad, they came up to me and made sure I was ok.
If you want to be in one, be real with yourself on why you want it and then go for it! The energy you give off is what type of non-black men you will attract. My friend told me about the capitol riots and how some of the men there has a black wife. She was scared that if she dated a white man, this could happen to her. I told her you have to look at the woman he is with. She most likely fits those categories. That desperate, self-hating, fetishizing stuff will get you men like that in a boatload. Respect and love yourself, and you will find people of all races that love you too.
Xoxo Ashley