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The Pick-Me Culture: I am not like her, I'm better.

Updated: Mar 2



Photo by Samantha Sophia on Unsplash


I will have a rant session on this topic, just so you know.


I know you have seen it on the internet or in real life. These types of girls are desperate to say the least for men who want nothing to do with them. They honestly feel that downing another female will make them more attractive to the guy.


"Oh I dress conservative."

"I respect myself to not look like a city girl."

"I cook and clean all the time."

" I love to cater to my man by rubbing his feet after a long day of work."

" I stay in and not go out, I rather read a book."


Knowing you don't read like that. Cmon! I even saw a meme of a guy saying that there is a type of girl that waits until the party is over to "help" clean up the place so she could be seen as wifey material. They know ya'll the jig is up!! While you feel you are gaining respect or admiration, these guys are laughing and ignoring that blatant desperation.


This one girl at this club meeting about relationships said,


" We all aren't Meghan Thee Stallions and City Girls, some of us are wholesome" 😂😂😂


The guys who heard her, ignored her. On to the next topic.


You would think that they would say, "Wow, maybe there is some wholesome women out there."


Or maybe what her goal was


" Dang maybe I should get with Blank because she is way better than the other girls, she just said she is."


NO! They sense the need you HAVE to be with them and they don't like that.


You can always tell who a person is by looking at them. You don't have to say who you are, it shows. I don't need to tell you I'm black, you see it. I don't need to show you my heart, chances are you have seen it already.


A man noticing you is not that important for you to diss another woman for. You will look bad doing so.




And you reinforce the "rules" that women are supposed to be one way to be accepted in society.


Do better. Love yourself enough to not feel the need to act like this. Be confident in who you are. If men aren't approaching you now, maybe it is not your time yet. Use that time to better yourself and focus on what matters, because yearning attention from men isn't it.


Xoxo Ashley

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