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The Importance of Letting Go: There's an art for it. Part 1



Photo by Leighann Blackwood on Unsplash

This year had lessons on growth and tribulations that we all had to encounter. It was a do or die year that left us feeling broken towards the end. The new year is on the way. What can we leave behind now to push us forward?


I had to learn on how to let go some of my past traumas that didn't support the new me. Meaning, the person I wanted to become moving forward. We may think that it is easier to stay in the same spot so that we don't get affected by the unknown. That it is stronger to stay than to move on. It's not true. We have to evolve and let time pass on its own.


I'll ask you some questions:

Is that hurt you are holding on to serving you right now?

Will it serve you next year?

Will you look back at that moment and see it as a necessity or as a waste?

If you see it as a waste, which you most likely will, start to change your mindset to make that as a part of your past. Because it is a part of your past. Don't let your past make way into your present that will affect your future.


We all have traumas, issues, and insecurities. if you don't believe you do, then it is because you never noticed. It comes from all areas, life, family, friends, school, work, etc. It affects how you act, how you work, how you approach situations and how you love others. I had an unwanted encounter back in spring 2019. I didn't want to think about it but it did affect me. Even to this day. I don't remember the face of the person well, but the most important part was how I felt. And how that moment affected any situation I had or even avoided afterwards. I even had a defining moment during my pre-teen to young adulthood that I still work on now. And that was based on other people's insecurities about me that I took on as my own. That situation affected how I reacted to people around me. Especially people I did not know since that was how it started. It was 8-9 years long. It was at a Haitian church. I will go into detail about the situation in later posts. But the reason why I am saying this is because I harbored all that in. And looking at it, what purpose did it serve me? Did it make me a better person? No. Because I always was a good person. Did it make me love myself more? No, it didn't. That situation taught me to not get close to others. To not accept any form of attention from others because of who I am. But that person was never me. I kept that in for so long. I created a narrative that was never true. Other people who knew me, didn't see me the way that Haitian church did. Recently someone I knew from middle school to highschool, told me that I was always amazing. This was a person who met me during the time I went to that church and gained issues from who actually didn't see who they saw. Or better yet wanted to see. This is to say at the end: It won't matter anymore.The more energy you put into something, the more real it seems at the end. I have some more to say in that regard that I will say in a later post.


STOP PUTTING ENERGY IN SITUATIONS THAT AFFECTS YOU

- Build boundaries, protect the peace you have by taking out the oppositions in your life.




- Write down how you view yourself and say would a person like this (blank) ever do something like this (blank)? For example, would a person who is caring ever be "stuck-up"?


- Look at you how people you love view you.




When you see how the people you care about, that cares about you, views you, the opinions of others won't matter as much.


- Focus on the positive parts of your life rather than the negative.




We all have pain, some of us just handle it better than others. But how did they handle it? some avoid it ( which doesn't work well. it just brings the pain with you.), some face it head on, some sits in it and others faces it and look at the positive points of who they are. Even celebs deal with this. Have you noticed they always "clap back"? Why is there never a moment when they respond to the positive comments? "Thank you for always supporting me", not in a general post but a singular comment just like they would do to a troll. Its barely a general post for a negative comment but only for the positive ones. Because its human nature to be defensive. Let's change that into taking majority of our time to focus on the positive points of our life. Make that a goal for 2021.



Xoxo Ashley


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