Photo by Yonas Bekele on Unsplash
To start this off, what is self- deprecation? The google definition states "modest about or critical of oneself, especially humorously so."
So I am sure we all have had moments when someone compliments us and we say no I am not like that and inserts a joke. Or we try to beat someone to the punch and reveal our insecurities in a joke. Way back, I had horrible acne and scars that are still here to this day. But when I was younger I was very insecure about it since everyone can see it, so I would say I have World War 2 on my face. This is what I've done constantly but it never helped. The insecurity was still there after I joked about it, so what was the point?
The reason why we self-deprecate could be many. Insecurities, beating others to the point, to be relatable, or just plain not liking ourselves as we could. Some people may say that self-deprecating humor is showing humbleness. Thats a lie. Humbleness doesn't require for you to beat yourself on things you have done or cannot change. On a journey of learning to love ourselves, we learn that words matter and to build someone up is mainly through words and action, so why is self-deprecation a thing?
Is it because we don't love ourselves? or not enough? Things to think about. Personally I have always had a strong sense of self and what my purpose was, but with age I lost that and started to self deprecate to not seem like I was better than others or to be relatable. I thought that self-deprecating was going to be my saving grace and that I will finally be accepted to people whose intention was never to do that for me. As I kept self-deprecating, I started to believe the words that I said about myself to others, so far to the point if someone told me different, I would think they were lying. It ruined my confidence in every aspect.
We could self-deprecate in our abilities, relationships, and just our place in life in general. This is a toxic trait we give to ourselves for no reason at all. This could affect the dreams you want to achieve. How can we stop self-deprecating?
Counter negative thoughts with POSITIVE thoughts
What you think in your mind will come out of your mouth sooner or later.
Always SPEAK LIFE into everything you do and will achieve as well as other people
Speaking things into existence is a true thing. You could wish for something bad to happen and it will. So with that power- vocal power- why not use it to empower others around you and yourself? When you start to do that, an inner glow will come out of you and you will be much happier. The goals you have won't seem as daunting and you will start to work on them.
STOP being around people who INFLUENCES you to self-deprecate
Sometimes it is not even you. Another person might just talk negatively about you all the time so you do it subconsciously. Or they might self-deprecate and to join in so you can "be relatable" you do it as well. Just cut out that person and slowly you will start to feel and move much differently.
Hopefully this helps you out there. See you next time! - Ashley